Man I'm really acting differently lately. I seem to be in a different frame of mind altogether. Emotionally I seem to be geting more agitated and impatient. Losing my patience and temper easily, flaring up at almost anything. I gotta control myself but its hard. All the stress and stuff. Thought it was stress and I tried to slacken things a bit. But it doesn't seem to be working well. Still too many things in my head to be taken care of and my plate is kinda getting real full now. Horoscope, either you believe in them or they just somehow are freaky in dictating what you are going to do. Perhaps much of life is predestined. To me its kinda true, whoever it is out there sure is doing a good job giving me a good life I have. Good friends, good school, good social environment, good challenges and obstacles for me to overcome. Perhaps the current situation I'm in is just one very big hurdle for me to jump across.
School, workload seems slack, but somehow it seems heavy. I don't know, perhaps its because right now my mind isn't as it is. So much for my teacher saying I'm stressed and look different. Maybe I am different, but then again I'm not sure how I was in the first place. Trying to be the perfect person, at least be a better person, someone liked by others or something like that. Well either be that or be myself, which I still haven't discovered what exactly it is. I tend to be a little socially weird person, my personality kinda changes depending on who I'm with and the environment. Wish there was like a fixed kind of thing.
Getting more and more wrapped up in myself and my problems. At least I'm writing them down. I miss a lot of things in life. ALW, lots of what I've learnt pretty much forgotten but I'll never forget the experience in EmpowerU workshop. Everyone needs a hug, ya quite true but I get none, so sad. All them darn stereotypes. Haiz, I can get so lost just talking to myself, very bad. But then again at least its better to talk about your problems then keep it all inside yourself. I can't imagine I can actually type out so fast all my problems in one go. Sure it might not help me solve them all but I feel a teeny weeny better. But this is just halfway there, still gotta find solutions to them problems.
Had a BBQ last night. Realized I'm not the kind of social person I am. Wish I could be like yo people wassup, go around shaking hands and smiling. Smiling is kinda hard for me. I realized I smile better when I take off my spectacles. Somehow me having little perception of my surroundings just makes me happier, hence the phrase "Ignorance Is Bliss". Indeed I feel better, in a sense. It was sort of a fun day. Ate lots of stuff(getting fat) and mixed around a bit with my class. Well glad to see them bonding on so well. Probably one reason I don't mix well is probably I usually act before I think. Man I really need to get a image changeover or something.
Wow what a long blogging session. Been keeping things inside me too much. Its kinda true when you keep all your stress in you. You tend to really lose it. I think I already lots of a few screws, nuts and bolts from my brain. Man gotta relax somehow. Need to learn martial arts, but self-learning is always hard. Need a sparring partner for so many moves, and the small area in the house is hard to master weapon use, haha. Sorry to those who are reading(if anyone reads in the first place) I seem to be rambling a lot but ya need to get them all out.
I miss ALW a lot. Jen and Celine, Brent and Dale. All the montfort guys who were with me during EmpowerU and those few girls as well. Cats, I still remember my group name and what we did. Including all the helpers as well, I remember Daphne the most, probably because she was the helper for our group. Elizabeth, and Cliff/Clive can't remember your name. Man I love that weekend. Was the best of my life. I wished I had blogged it down. I wish I could live that weekend again. Life was good, and is still good with my new friends. I don't think I want it to be better because I can't imagine anything better than this. Love you guys a lot.
1:12 pm;
N {PROFILE}
Norman Woon
21 Years Young
Male
27/03/1987
MJS, MSS, CJC(rox)
