{SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW.}

Monday, April 11, 2005

title:{Life Is Not So Good}

Well looking back on the many weeks that have passed since I've last blogged.(Very long indeed). Sorry to those regulars if there are any. Anyway I'm back into depression mood, either its that or its apathy. I don't care though.

So many things have came and gone. Stupid timetable change. Stupid Chinese B. Stupid this and that. Man so much for trying to live my life normally. There just are so many things in this world that likes to screw me upside down.

"Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." Wonder who ever said this. Kinda makes me think about how I react to stuff. Sure sometimes people say or do some stuff that hurts your feelings. Well life dictates you try your best to ignore them and do your best. Human instinct dictates either you feel upset and be depressed or for my case, I convert that pain into anger. Well no one's gonna make me feel crappy without me making them feel crappy too.

I like to fight back, I don't know why. When I react, I tend to like to fight fire with fire and add oil into that blazing mess. Violent reaction I suppose. Kinda irritated by how the human race just loves eliminating each other. Power just blinds everyone I suppose so. I know how it feels, to be angry, to want to possess power so that people will bow down to your will. I will shun it all. But the only thing that prevents me from doing so, is my uncanny instinct that insists a lot that I be an agressive self-defence person. I will ignore all that is around, living my life happily and if anyone should provoke me, that guy is dead.

No, no, no. This will not do. Its bad. No one should be subjected to such crazy berserk trait of mine. I will change for better, not worse. In fact looking back on who I was and how things have gone so far, it was quite good. Managed to be someone different, but still more obstacles await. NAPFA coming, and at this rate I'm going to fail it. Crap. Well anyway I very tired of many things. I don't want to fight no more. I want to live normally. Peacefully without distraction, without evils of the world.

But I guess I already got part of my wish. My frienship circle has expanded really large since the beginning of my JC life. Now the task at hand is how I'll appreciate it, how I'll treasure it and how I'll take care of it. Along with studies piling up and the A'levels, NS all looming before me. My road now is cluttered with many things to clear. All I ask now is the support and strength to walk on. To travel with a strong will and possess enough perseverance to pass through this very difficult stage, both emotionally and physically draining.

And from this I hope to experience another change, that will bond everyone of us together. And hopefully be able to achieve our goals and soar above everyone else.

11:45 am;