I feel a strange conflict rising from within me. It interfering a lot of my thought patterns. I've starting to have problem thinking straight. I need a sabbatical, a place to run and hide away from everything. Friends, families, everyone. Be alone. Be with GOD. Asking him what to do. Knowing I'll probably still be influenced by the dark side.
Sucks. Feels like having split personality within me. I feel like an island. Marooned in a sea of thoughts. No bridges to salvation. No stairway to solace. Just sitting there all alone. I don't know what to do with my life. I don't know how to handle everything. So many things. I know I can do it. Yet I prefer doing things my own way, not having the world to poke their nose into my world. The bubble probably burst few eons ago. I still trying to patch it up. I feel lost.
What to study. My music career's direction. My life's direction. What I want to do. Who I want to be. I look back at the past. Everything I've done so far. I don't know how much I can attribute to my friends. Maybe none. Considering a lot of stuff I've done it on my own. No support from others. No nothing. I went to CJC on my own. I joined Choir on my own accord. I have no connections. Only guidance from GOD. But sometimes I'd prefer a physical being there. At least it won't feel so lonely. I got someone to talk to about what I've done. And what I'm going to do.
Now the possibilities are endless. And the little voice insides dies away. I can't hear it anymore. I don't know what to do anymore. So many things to do. So many causes and effects and the many chain reaction from a single decision. Whether to take up another course to further my studies, or to upgrade my vocal skills and aim higher. More risk, more danger. I'd do it, but the cost is unknown. I need some sort of pillar. Feel so exposed. Haiz. Society's pressure sure is unnerving.
7:53 pm;
N {PROFILE}
Norman Woon
21 Years Young
Male
27/03/1987
MJS, MSS, CJC(rox)
